The Compass Theory

Have you ever heard of the “broken compass” theory?

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The “broken compass” theory states that sometimes, when you experience one big bad event, or even a number of repeatedly small bad events, it can cause your inner compass to be a little “broken.”

You see, our inner world only exists within the meaning we give it. So yes, maybe the needle of your compass points just a little bit askew. That’s nothing to be worried about. It’s just a little more information about you and who you are. Nothing bad about that.

How does our compass get thrown askew in the first place?

I’ll give you a silly example...

 When I was in kindergarten, one of my four-year-old classmates yawned loudly during our scheduled picture-book reading time. The teacher, picture-book open and ready for the reading, gave him the worst death stare I’ve ever seen, even twenty years later.


She yelled his name, and told him to never, ever do that again.


“Huh,” I thought to myself. “He just yawned.”


What I didn’t realize is that the sudden yelling of my teacher at my classmate had just planted a seed that is now a tree in my mind.

​The message?

Yawning = Bad.


Even today, at 25 years old, I cringe when people yawn around me. My brain yells, “No, don’t do that!” Even while I rationally understand it’s a normal bodily process that isn’t bad at all.


My compass is pointing east (yawn = bad) when I’m really walking south (yawn = normal bodily process).

That’s just a silly example, but I’m sure you can think of plenty of times in your own life when you think your compass might be a little off. Like when you swear your friend is mad at you because they haven’t texted you back yet. Or when you think you might lose your job over a small error in a report.

Our thoughts can feel so real that we forget they're just that-- thoughts. Sometimes what feels real isn't necessarily true. Learning to navigate with your compass is learning to differentiate between what feels real but isn't true or helpful.

Your compass can tell you that you want ice cream when you really want cookies. That you want a boyfriend when you should really just get a cat. Or that you want a 9-5 when you really want your own art business.


There used to be a time when I would judge myself when my compass was off. I would get frustrated, and try to “fix” it.


I tried therapy. I tried self help books. I tried throwing myself into my work.


The problem is that when you’re trying to be different than you are, all you really end up doing is creating a lot of friction, a lot of attachment to that version of you that “isn’t right,” and you end up staying the same. Just a slightly more unhappy version of the same.

I realized one day that I didn’t need to fight my compass. I could let my compass be a little bit off, but understand that when it skews east, I should actually be looking north.


You learn to swim with the current, rather than against it.


I’ve found over and over that the more I attempt to “change,” for the sake of being right or wrong, bad or good, hot or cold. . . The more I end up remaining the same, miserable self.


But when I let go of labels like bad or good, and accept what’s in front of me for what it is… just neutral. Just human. That’s when I start to step into my own power. That’s when I start to feel very comfortable in my own skin.


You see, our inner world only exists within the meaning we give it. So yes, maybe the needle of your compass points just a little bit askew. That’s nothing to be worried about. It’s just a little more information about you and who you are. Nothing bad about that.


It’s going to be you talking to yourself in your head for a while longer now. Let’s make sure the voice we use is a kind one.