It's Good To Want Things (May's Letter)

Years ago, a friend of mine told me: "It's good to want things. It builds character." 

They said it to me as a joke, and then explained that their cousin would frequently say this while babysitting them as a kid. Apparently it was a common thing to say to kids who wanted things they couldn't have.

"I want to watch TV!"

"It's good to want things. It builds character," said the parent who knows very well it is not TV time.

And this always kind of stuck with me because when I was growing up, I always had the impression that wanting things is bad because it shows that you're discontent, thankless, or ungrateful for what you currently have.

It reminded me of moving into a new apartment with extremely thin walls on a busy street. I hated living there because I would wake up at 4am every day to the road noise of delivery trucks starting their route. I moved my mattress into a walk-in closet to sleep on the floor because that one added wall made enough of a difference to make it worth it.

And when I would think: "I want a better apartment," I would instantly be flooded with guilt and shame. Shame said: There are so many people who can't afford an apartment. I should be grateful for what I have.

The same thing happened with my corporate job. I hated my job, but when I would think "I want a different job," again, I was flooded with guilt and shame. There are so many people who have worse jobs. You should be grateful for what you have.

But overtime I came to realize wanting things is not bad. In fact, my friend's saying was correct: it builds. It builds character, it builds your life, it tells you the things that are important to you. And what's more, it  is possible to be thankful for the opportunity you have, and also know you want something different.

It's okay if you want more. After all, we're all searching for a purpose in life, right? What if our wanting is the compass pointing us towards what will fulfill us the most?

Until next time. I hope you never stop looking for the Small Joys.

With love,

Jen Carmiel

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Every month I write you a letter and mail you an art print. This letter is from May 2025.

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