March's Letter: We Are in the Middle of What We Once Wanted

I have this distinct memory from childhood. 16 years old, knees drawn to my chest, cuddled up in a fuzzy Tinkerbell blanket.
 
I sat in my bedroom, scrolling through Tumblr aesthetic photos and artwork while my dad watched action movies out in the living room. 

​My sisters did whatever it was sisters do, and as for me… I scrolled aesthetic posts while thumbing through the pages of my sketchbook.

"I can't wait until I have my own apartment one day," I thought to myself. 

I wanted to put up a poster of every single cute aesthetic post I came across. I wanted walls that were my own. A space that felt like me. I wanted a place to come home to after a long day, and be able to feel like I'd finally found land after swimming around in the sea.
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For me, that special place to land was artwork.

As a teenager, I created a digital folder in my computer titled "on my wall." Inside that folder I saved all the posters, graphics, art, and quotes I wanted to hang on my wall when I got older. 

Today, I look around at the walls in my apartment. 

At 26 years old, I am right in the middle of everything my 16-year-old-self wanted. I have a loving partner, amazing kitty cats, and yes…my own four walls to decorate exactly how I want. 

​Then why do I sometimes feel so stressed out, like I'm running on a treadmill I can't get off of?​

Today after getting home at 2pm from my part time job as an administrative assistant, I tried something new. I went to my bedroom where my cats sat on a heated blanket, and I spent 30 minutes, no phone, no nothing. Just me, the cats, and the walls of my bedroom.

Sometimes we just need the reminder that we are in the middle of what we once wanted. We need to sit with our pets, or with a favorite cup of comfort beverage, or our favorite comfort show, and remind ourselves that what we want is already around you. 

You just have to remember to look.

My Small Joy this month is this weird new Dr Pepper flavor I found. Did you know they made a blackberry Dr. Pepper? Well I didn't. At least not before yesterday. It's very strange… But somehow it works.

I hope you never stop looking for the Small Joys. Until next time.

Every Month I Write a Letter For You.

♡ Join the Small Joys Club ♡